FAQs

1.  Who is Nikki Addimando?

• Nicole “Nikki” Addimando is a young mother of two small children from Poughkeepsie, New York.

• Since being wrongly imprisoned and separated from her children for more than six years, she has become a symbol of the injustices committed by the U.S. legal system against survivors of domestic and sexual violence who fight for their lives.

• In 2017, Nikki killed her boyfriend and the father of her children in self-defense, after he threatened to kill her, and following years of sadistic sexual, physical and psychological abuse.

• She has no prior criminal history and is well known in her community as a loving mother and caring friend.

• Please click here to read testimonies from those who know her personally, including friends, family and loved ones.

2.  What crime did Nikki Addimando allegedly commit?

• After surviving years of violent abuse and sexual torture at the hands of her longtime partner Chris Grover, as documented in trial testimony and by domestic violence advocates, medical professionals, and police, on September 28, 2017, Nikki shot and killed Grover in self-defense.

• On the day before the shooting, Nikki and Grover had been visited by Child Protective Services regarding his abuse of Nikki. Following that visit, Nikki told Grover that she intended to “take a break” from Grover with their two young children. Grover responded by loading his handgun in front of Nikki and showing her descriptions on his phone of how he could shoot her in her sleep and make it appear to be a suicide. When Grover pointed the gun at Nikki, the two struggled, and Nikki obtained the weapon. Demanding it back, Grover threatened that he would kill both of them so that their “kids would have no one.” Before Grover could grab the gun, Nikki lunged and shot him.

• In April 2019, despite an abundance of evidence that corroborated the abuse, Nikki was prosecuted based on outmoded, discredited and harmful views about how survivors of domestic violence “should act.” Nikki was convicted of second-degree murder and gun possession, a gun which was legally registered to Grover.

• Following an unjust verdict, Nikki gave this powerful personal statement: "I wish more than anything it ended another way. I wouldn't be in this courtroom right now, but I wouldn't be alive either. This is why women don't leave. They so often end up dead or where I'm standing — alive, but still not free."

3.  Is there evidence that Nikki Addimando was abused by Chris Grover?

• The evidence that Chris Grover abused Nikki is overwhelming, as an appellate court later found.

• Her therapist, midwife, medical professionals, police, and friends documented in real-time over several years severe bruising, burns, bruised bones, bite marks, and trauma to her genitalia. This included medical documentation of severe injuries that are impossible to self-inflict, including rectal prolapse, vaginal swelling so severe a swab could not be inserted for an exam, burns to her labia from a metal spoon heated on a gas stove, strangulation marks, and bite marks on the back of her neck. During medical examinations that documented sexual trauma, Nikki documented her lack of consent and named Chris Grover as her abuser and rapist.

• Chris Grover posted videos of the abuse and torture online to PornHub – posts that were witnessed and documented by both law enforcement and her therapist.

• Dozens of individuals corroborated her abuse, noting they saw bruises, burns, and her arm in a sling.

• A police report from November 6, 2015, recorded Nikki and Chris’s relationship as a “high risk domestic relationship” and noted “the victim is Nicole (Nikki) Addimnado, the suspect is Christopher Grover.”

• Identifying evidence that named Chris Grover as her abuser was submitted and accepted into the record in Nikki’s pre-sentencing hearing in September 2019. The prosecution, however, had convinced the judge to suppress this evidence during the jury trial.

• Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises and veteran reporter for The New Yorker, said that the abuse Nikki suffered was “among the most extreme I have ever come across in a decade of reporting on domestic violence.” As Snyder told WNYC Studios, “[Nikki] had all of this documentation of years of abuse, and yet so much of it was not allowed in court.” Snyder noted that while the jury was allowed to see still pictures of these images on PornHub, the material identifying the poster as Christopher Grover was excluded. So there was no clarifying material that said who uploaded the violent and exploitive photos, or the fact that it was even on PornHub. She added “I mean they were just still photos of her in very compromised positions. The cards were kind of stacked against her, and it was really pretty shocking to me because very few domestic violence victims of this kind of extreme torture have this kind of documentation.”

4.  How common is it for survivors of domestic and sexual violence to have proof?

• Intimate partner violence often occurs in private with few witnesses and little external corroboration.

• Nikki’s case was an anomaly. Her abuse was documented in real time by her therapist, midwife, medical professionals, police, and friends. Nikki repeatedly named Chris Grover as her abuser. Her abuser posted videos of the abuse and torture online to PornHub – posts that were witnessed and documented by both law enforcement and her therapist.

• Dozens of individuals corroborated her abuse, noting they saw bruises, burns, and her arm in a sling.

• Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises and veteran reporter for The New Yorker, said that the abuse Nikki suffered was “among the most extreme I have ever come across in a decade of reporting on domestic violence,” and yet in court, “The cards were kind of stacked against her, and it was really pretty shocking to me because very few domestic violence victims of this kind of extreme torture have this kind of documentation.”

5.  Did the jury conclude that Nikki Addimando wasn’t abused?

• The jury was not instructed or allowed to make any determinations about the validity of her claims of abuse, and the prosecution convinced the Judge to suppress this abundant evidence that corroborated Nikki’s story during the jury trial.

• Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises and veteran reporter for The New Yorker, said that Nikki “had all of this documentation of years of abuse, and yet so much of it was not allowed in court.”

• The New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division criticized the trial judge, noting “First, contrary to the County Court’s determination, the abuse history was not ‘undetermined.’ Instead, the defendant established, through her lengthy testimony, photographs, and other evidence that Grover repeatedly abused her physically and sexually.”

• The Court continued, “The evidence, which included a detailed history of repeated sexual, physical, and psychological abuse by Grover against the defendant, expert testimony regarding the impact of that abuse on the defendant, and the defendant’s testimony regarding the events prior to the subject shooting, established that the abuse was a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s criminal behavior.”

6.  Did Nikki Addimando accuse multiple people of abusing her?

• Nikki stated unequivocally that Chris was the only person who abused her in the years prior to Chris’s death. Nikki named Chris as her abuser to friends, advocates, doctors, and police.

• It is also true, horribly, that prior to Chris, Nikki had multiple other abusers in her lifetime, starting at age 5. The prosecution exploited this pattern as unbelievable and illogical, and yet her experience of re-traumatization is consistent with documented research on abuse.

• Numerous studies suggest that sexual victimization in childhood and adolescence significantly increases the likelihood of sexual victimization in adulthood. Similarly, of those injured by domestic violence, over 75% continue to experience abuse.

• According to the CDC, without treatment for early childhood abuse, especially sexual abuse, violence usually recurs and escalates in frequency and severity.1

• Nikki is now experiencing the consequences of abuse in our criminal justice system,  as the cycle continues.

7.  Is it possible the injuries were sustained during consensual rough sex?

• During medical examinations that documented sexual trauma in the years prior to Chris Grover’s death, Nikki documented her lack of consent and named Chris Grover as her rapist.

• Masochism leading to injuries of Nikki’s severity is not a mere penchant for rough sex. It’s a psychological disorder, classified in the DSM-5 as a sexual paraphilia. Nikki submitted to extensive psychological examination. She was never found, by any trained mental health professional, to exhibit even the slightest tendency toward masochism, antisocial personality disorders, or any mental health disorders beyond PTSD, which is consistent with Nikki’s record of the facts.

• Since Chris Grover’s death, Nikki has experienced no injuries.

 8.  Is it possible Nikki’s injuries were self-inflicted?

• No. Medical professionals testified to injuries that were impossible to have been self-inflicted, including burns on both the inside and outside of her genitalia, strangulation marks, and bite marks on the back of her neck.

• Since Chris Grover’s death, Nikki has experienced no injuries.

9.  Did the evidence support Nikki’s claim that she acted in self-defense on the evening that she killed Chris Grover?

• On the day before the shooting, Nikki and Grover had been visited by Child Protective Services regarding his abuse of Nikki. Following that visit, Nikki told Grover that she intended to “take a break” from Grover with their two young children. Grover responded by loading his handgun in front of Nikki and showing her descriptions on his phone of how he could shoot her in her sleep and make it appear to be a suicide. When Grover pointed the gun at Nikki, the two struggled, and Nikki obtained the weapon. Demanding it back, Grover threatened that he would kill both of them so that their “kids would have no one.” Before Grover could grab the gun, Nikki lunged and shot him.

• The NY State expert witness conceded that the way Grover was found is compatible with Nikki’s story, and the incident could have happened exactly as she described.

• No forensic evidence or expert witness validated the prosecution’s claim that Nikki did not act in self-defense.

10.  Was this premeditated murder?

• Nikki had no motive to murder Grover beyond saving her life.

• Forensic evidence admitted to the court record during trial proved that only Grover’s DNA was found on the slide of the gun. The slide of a gun is how you chamber a live round before shooting.

• On the night of Chris’s death, Nikki willingly told the police what happened, without a lawyer present, and did so in ways consistent with her trial testimony and other renditions of events.

• Nikki’s former therapist testified, “She was scared to leave because Chris had told her that he would never let her leave, she was scared to leave because she didn't want to break up the family, she was scared to leave because she loved him, and what she really wanted -- what she reported was that what she really wanted was for this to stop so that they could have a normal family.” These testimonials are inconsistent with a woman who wanted her partner dead.

11.  Could Nikki Addimando have left?

• In a nation where three women die every day at the hands of a current or former intimate partner, the myth of “just leaving” – a primary basis for Nikki’s conviction - needs to be put to rest. Leaving an abusive relationship is for many not possible  — on average, a victim will make seven attempts at leaving before finally doing it for good – and even then, it comes with a substantial risk. Statistics show that women are at the highest risk of severe or fatal injury when they try to leave an abusive relationship.2

• Of the approximately 4,000 women killed by a domestic partner each year, about 75% of victims were killed as they attempted to leave the relationship or after the relationship had ended.3

• There are numerous factors that indicated Nikki was at high risk of death, including:

  • The presence of sexual violence and abuse during her second pregnancy

  • Evidence of Grover using strangulation on Nikki

  • Grover’s access to a firearm, which he had used to threaten Nikki multiple times. A woman whose abusive partner has access to a firearm is five times more likely to be a victim of DV homicide.4

• Nikki’s former therapist testified, “She was scared to leave because Chris had told her that he would never let her leave, she was scared to leave because she didn't want to break up the family, she was scared to leave because she loved him, and what she really wanted -- what she reported was that what she really wanted was for this to stop so that they could have a normal family.”

• In its ruling on Nikki’s appeal, the New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division rebuked the County Court’s sentencing noting that it was based on “an arcane belief/suggestion that the defendant could have avoided the murder by withdrawing from her apartment, which are antiquated impressions of how domestic violence survivors should behave.”

12. Where is Nikki Addimando now?

• Nikki was sentenced in February 2020 to 19 years to life. That has since been reduced to 7.5 years by the New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division.

• Nikki was released on January 4th 2024. She is now reunited with her children and has been surrounded by loving friends and family who have welcomed her back. 

13.  Is Nikki still close with her kids?

• Although Nikki was physically separated from her two children for nearly 7 years, she was still able to be a part of their day to day lives. Her ability to mother them from the confines of a prison cell was truly remarkable. She spoke to kids on a daily basis, exchanged letters and photographs through mail, helped with homework, sang lullabies and read them bedtime stories. 

14.  Can you give a brief timeline of events?

• On September 28, 2017, Nikki killed her abuser in self-defense after years of abuse and turned herself into the police. She was placed in jail that night.

• On February 11, 2020, Judge McLoughlin sentenced Nikki to 19-years-to-life plus 15 years + 5 years post supervision for the shooting and possessing her partner's legally registered gun (to be served concurrently).

• Nikki filed an appeal on July 31, 2020 with the New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division.

• In June 2021, the New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division ruled that the evidence established that Nikki was abused by Chris Grover, that the abuse was a significant contributing factor to Nikki’s actions, and that in light of these factors, a reduced sentence under the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act was warranted. The Court resentenced Nikki to 7.5 years (including time served) + 5 years parole under the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act.

• In November 2021, Nikki’s pro-bono attorneys submitted a clemency application to Governor Kathy Hochul, and presented the case to the Governor’s counsel, asking her to commute Nikki’s remaining sentence and release her back to her young children.

• The application remains open but unacted upon.

• Nikki did not receive clemency, and so she will be released in 2024, when her children are nine and 11 years old. They were just two and four when she was wrongly imprisoned.

 15.  What is the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act?

• Countless women are imprisoned for killing their abusers, and one study found that 90% of incarcerated women are survivors of gender-based violence.5

• To help remedy this injustice, New York State passed the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act (DVSJA), which gives judges the flexibility to sentence domestic violence survivors convicted of offenses related to their abuse to shorter sentences or alternative-to-incarceration programs.

• The DVSJA is intended to recognize the complex mitigating factors of domestic violence and help restore humanity and justice to the way we treat survivors of severe abuse who act to protect themselves — survivors exactly like Nikki.

• Defendants must meet a three-point criteria to be eligible for DVSJA protection:

  • The defendant must have been a victim of domestic violence at the time of the offense;

  • Domestic violence must have been a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s participation in the offense; and

  • The defendant’s sentence under the current law would be “unduly harsh.”

16.  What does it mean to receive “clemency”?

• Clemency is the process by which a Governor, President, or Administrative Board may grant relief from punishment either by commuting a sentence or granting a pardon.

• Commuting a sentence is reducing a sentence so an individual is immediately released from prison, but their conviction remains on their record.

• An individual who is pardoned is released from prison and cannot be further punished for the forgiven offense or penalized for having a record of the offense.

17.  How can I help?

There are several ways you can support Nikki:

• Make your voice heard on social media. Help us raise awareness about Nikki Addimando and other criminalized survivors by posting and sharing our posts on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter with the recommended actionable hashtags:

  • #WeStandWithNikki

  • #FreeNikki

  • You can also tag our accounts: @WeStandWithNikki on Instagram and Facebook, @StandWithNikki on Twitter.

• Click here to donate to the Family Trust. All money raised will go directly to support Nikki and her children.

• Click here to purchase We Stand With Nikki merchandise. All proceeds from these sales go directly to support Nikki and her family.

18.  Who can I reach out to for more information?

• Please email WeStandWithNikki@gmail.com.

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “Fast Facts: Preventing Child Abuse & Neglect” (2022).

2. Zlatka Rakovec-Felser, “Domestic Violence and Abuse in Intimate Relationship from Public Health Perspective” (Health Psychology Research, 2014).

3. Domestic Abuse Shelter, Inc., “Definition of Domestic Violence” (2019).

4. The Education Fund to Stop Gun Violence, “Domestic Violence and Firearms” (2022).

5. The Women’s Justice Institute, “Redefining the Narrative” (2021)

 Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act (DVJSA)

What is the DVSJA?

Countless women are imprisoned for killing their abusers, and one study found that 90% of incarcerated women are survivors of gender-based violence. To help remedy this injustice, New York State passed the Domestic Violence Survivors Justice Act (DVSJA) — long-fought legislation that gives judges the flexibility to sentence domestic violence survivors convicted of offenses related to their abuse to shorter sentences or alternative-to-incarceration programs. The DVSJA is intended to recognize the complex mitigating factors of domestic violence, and help restore humanity and justice to the way we treat survivors of severe abuse who act to protect themselves — survivors exactly like Addimando.

Weeks after Nikki’s conviction, the Domestic Violence Survivors’ Justice Act (DVSJA) was finally signed into New York State law as part of Governor Cuomo’s 2019 Women’s Justice Agenda. Addimando’s case was one of the first to test the law. A pre-sentencing eligibility hearing took place in September 2019 in Poughkeepsie, NY.

Defendants must meet a three-point criteria to be eligible for DVSJA protection:

1) The defendant must have been a victim of domestic violence at the time of the offense;

2.) Domestic violence must have been a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s participation in the offense; and

3) The defendant’s sentence under the current law would be “unduly harsh.”

Nikki & DVSJA

Nikki had a DVSJA eligibility hearing in September 2019. More than 40 organizations, individuals, and legislators endorsed Nikki’s application for the law. They wrote letters to the judge, explaining the legislative intent and why Nikki was a poster child for the DVSJA. Advocates showed up at the court house to show the wide net of support. The very woman who started the DVSJA, Kim Dadou-Brown, came to Nikki’s eligibility hearing. (Kim served a long prison sentence at Bedford for surviving her abuser. See And So I Stayed.) She knew she created the law for women exactly like Nikki.

Her case was expected to be one of the first in New York state to test the law, setting an important legal precedent for future criminalized survivors.

Nikki was denied DVSJA protection

Despite more documented abuse than most domestic violence victims have, Judge McLoughlin ruled that Nikki was not eligible for a reduced sentence under the DVSJA, invalidating her experience as a survivor and punishing her with life in prison.

Intimate partner violence often occurs in private with few witnesses and little external corroboration, however Nikki’s case was an anomaly: Her partner posted videos of the abuse and torture online, which were witnessed by law enforcement and mental health counselors. She had medical documentation of injuries that are impossible to self-inflict, and dozens of individuals to corroborate seeing bruises, burns, and her arm in a sling. Rachel Louise Snyder, author of No Visible Bruises and veteran reporter for The New Yorker, said that the abuse Addimando suffered was “among the most extreme I have ever come across in a decade of reporting on domestic violence.”

Yet the judge ruled that "the defendant had a myriad of non-lethal options at her disposal" and she “had the opportunity to safely leave,” while claiming that the Court could not make a determination on the “alleged abuse.”

As stated in Boston University Law Review, “The judge’s decision reflected a blatant disregard for the factors the court must consider when applying the DVSJA and rendered toothless the legislative purpose for which the DVSJA was enacted.” Further, “If the DVSJA does not apply to the severe and thoroughly documented facts of Addimando’s case, it cannot apply in any case.”

Appeal

The judge’s denial of DVSJA protections is one of the five points in Nikki’s appellate brief, filed on July 31, 2020 by a pro-bono appellate team led by Sullivan & Cromwell, LLP.

Sanctuary for Families, an advocacy organization that championed the DVSJA, was the lead signatory on an amicus brief in support of Nikki’s appeal. 11 other organizations signed on in support. Here is a statement from their executive director, Hon. Judy Harris Kluger:

“Given the extensive evidence presented at trial of repeated sexual and physical abuse spanning virtually her entire life, it is difficult to understand the Court’s conclusion that both the letter and spirit of the Domestic Violence Justice Survivors Act (DVSJA) did not apply in Ms. Addimando’s case. The Court’s decision not to apply the sentencing standards of the DVSJA failed to recognize and account for the lifetime of abuse Ms. Addimando survived. The decision also essentially eviscerates the compassionate sentencing relief that the legislature intended for victims of domestic violence when it passed the DVSJA. Sanctuary urges the New York State Appellate Courts to consider the full scope of Ms. Addimando’s circumstances and provide her relief under the DVSJA’s sentencing guidelines.”

A group of New York State legislators also filed an amicus brief to the appellate court on behalf of Ms. Addimando. They wrote:

“The DVSJA was enacted with the understanding and intent that it should actually be employed by courts and given its full effect. It was meant to help victims and to reform a system that was unduly harsh and punitive when addressing survivors of domestic violence. Ms. Addimando’s case presented one of the first opportunities for application of the DVSJA, but the trial court failed to give the act its intended effect. Moreover, the trial court’s reasoning for refusing to apply the DVSJA made clear that the court’s decision was rooted in outdated and roundly-rejected misunderstandings of domestic violence and its profound impact on survivors. The court clearly did not consider the legislative history of the Act. Nor did the court effectuate the goal of the Legislature in allowing individuals like Ms. Addimando to receive more compassionate and tailored sentences in recognition f the abuse they suffered and how that abuse led them to commit the offense at issue. This Court should correct that error now and preserve the DVSJA’s status as a meaningful legislative reform to the criminal justice system.”

In June 2020, the New York State Supreme Court’s Appellate Division (Second Department) ruled that Nikki should have been sentenced under the DVSJA and resentenced her from 19-years-to-life down to 7.5 years. Read more about the appeal.

With their decision, the appellate court issued a monumental, precedent-setting analysis of the law — strengthening it for future survivors in New York. We are grateful to all of the activists who fought so hard for the DVSJA, and who insisted that Nikki was a poster child for the law — particularly to Sanctuary for Families, the lead organization that authored the amicus brief on her behalf. Our collective work MATTERED — not just for Nikki, but all survivors.

While the DVSJA isn’t perfect, more states are starting to adopt similar legislation for domestic violence and sex trafficking victims who find themselves ensnared in the criminal justice system for their acts of survival.