I am so sorry for the pain — the deep, devastating loss that so many people feel as a result of my action.
I’m sorry for the broken hearts and families that will never feel whole again.
I’ll live with this — what I did and didn’t do — for the rest of my life.
I wish more than anything this ended another way. If it had, I wouldn’t be in this courtroom.
But I wouldn’t be alive, either.
I wanted to live, I wanted this all to stop.
I was afraid to stay, afraid to leave, afraid that nobody would believe me, afraid of losing everything.
This is why women don’t leave.
I know killing is not a solution, and staying hurts. But leaving doesn’t mean living.
Often we end up dead, or where I’m standing.
Alive, but still not free.
—Nicole Addimando, Feb. 2020, before receiving a life sentence in prison